Thursday, July 21, 2011

But Wait There's More...

As a contestant on the Breast Cancer Life, you are still eligible for new health problems. Just because your surgery and radiation treatment are over, we don't want you to feel left out. Because you have had breast cancer you are automatically qualified for a higher risk of skin cancer and uterine cancer...and let's not forget the deep vein thrombosis in your calves. All of these things are available to you, just because you have had breast cancer.

But wait, there's more. If you act now, you can qualify for hot flashes, bone and/ or joint pain, swelling in hands or feet, vaginal dryness, decreased sex drive, headache, dizziness, depression and possibly thinning hair if you start Tamoxifen today. All this while still maintaining your premenopausal status.

Unfortunately, there is a limited supply of side-effects so you may not receive all of them but we guarantee at least one. And, don't forget the most attractive bonus - weight gain of 5-10 pounds beginning immediately after your first dose of Tamoxifen.  

If you act now, we'll throw in a set of ___________ (insert random infomercial product here) free with shipping and handling of just $9.99. 


  1. You are so funny...I love reading your posts
    Been sick with a migraine for a few days, so I have some catching up to do :)

  2. thanks Debbi and I hope you are feeling better.

  3. Hi Elizabeth,
    My name is Liz and I came across your blog while doing research on cancer bloggers online. I wanted to say that I am sorry that you have this stupid disease. I hope that the rash that was bothering you from the radiation has subsided by now. It was very nice to read your post thanking the radiology team. I hope that your going to be in remission very very soon.
    That said, since your blog is a helpful resource for someone going through cancer I wanted to reach out to you to see if you were interested in a new online social support network (that I am the community manager of!) called I Had Cancer. It is a new and free social support network focused on connecting people based on experiences with cancer so that they can easily communicate with one another and share information. I would love to tell you more if you are interested, so please let me know! I would love to send you an early-access pass with extra invites for others you may know going through this journey.

    Either way, thank you so much for your writing. Take care and best regards. - If anyone would like info on I Had Cancer please email me.

  4. hahahaha my body is falling apart since breast cancer... But I don't blame my treatment - they are all not related to cancer or its treatment - except the scars, lymphedema, insomnia, flabbiness, and I can't remember everything else because I have chemo brain.