Dear Birthday

I had high hopes. I have always enjoyed my day o' birth and celebrated you with parties or events. 
This year - nothing. Why did you let me down?


Wasn't this birthday suppose to be special? Wasn't it suppose to mark more than a new year? The surgery was done, the radiation treatments were complete and all before your day. Wasn't this birthday going to be a line in the sand so to speak?


I realize that last year on your day you had no idea what was coming, but couldn't you have pulled something fantastic together for this year?  Ok, maybe because you fell on a Monday the day was just blah, but that doesn't explain the weekend before or after your day. 


I'll admit that I had envisioned a happy kick-ass type of day. A day that said, "step aside the birthday girl is coming through and she won't be stopped". Birthday, you felt no different than any other day and I believe that you should have!


I purposely gave myself some weeks off to help mark your day. I finished radiation and then waited to see the oncologist and start Tamoxifen until after your day. I wanted some days without cancer in my vocabulary as a present to myself. I got those, but I didn't get the special day or the special day feeling I believe you owed me.   


I have decided to take responsibility for your day. I am giving myself August as a birthday do-over month. To kick it off, Team C Cup pulled together a belated birthday dinner party which was great! It's only August 5th, so there are several days left to recoup what I think I missed on my day of birth.


I'm glad that Alice taught us about the Unbirthday Party.